Catfished Pt. 2: How to Catch a Catfish
For reference, please read my published article on Spectrum Journal about this.
Part 1 of this tell-all is in the SensuElle Subscriber blog space, which is just for Newsletter subscribers. Get on the list here.
In my latest article Baited: How a Sexting Nightmare Made me Question Online Intimacy, I mention using some free tools to find out that I was being Catfished.
Let me start out by saying that I do not encourage anyone to trigger or re-trigger themselves by engaging further with their abusers or seeking out information about criminals online who have harassed them. My conscience could not let this go, so that’s why I searched the internet trying to make some sense of what happened to me - and it confirmed my suspicions to a fault. You do not have to do that.
Essentially, don’t go looking for answers to questions you aren’t prepared to handle. My catfishing experience taught me that the truth is much uglier than you can imagine. And there are a lot of fucked up people and predators out there.
In using these open-source and legal resources to gain public information, I confirmed that my Catfish was a repeat offender and an online criminal. Again, this is not the case for everyone and should not be taken lightly.
Here are the steps I took to confirm that I was being catfished and confirm my Catfish’s true identity:
1. I used a third-party reverse image search (not Google) to trace photos:
Why: Basically, anytime anyone uploads a photo on the internet, it leaves an ‘imprint’. Try reverse google-image searching a photo of yourself and other photos like it will come up. These could be photos of you or people who look like you. If you have any professional or social media accounts, these photos will usually pop-up first.
If there was a chance that my Catfish’s sock-puppet “Kevin” was real, it would pop-up.
I got no hits using Google’s reverse image search, as it has lots of filters. So I watched a youtube video and found this site.
Site links:
How to Do a Reverse Image Search From Your Phone https://youtu.be/opc7aMJszng
Used in a private browser: https://tineye.com/
As soon as I found this site, I looked up the dick pic I received and found it on multiple porn sites. This catfish was lazy as fuck.
My results (NSFW):
And this is why, if you're going to solicit nudes, ask for real-time nudes with a face in them, per my article.
2. I reverse-searched their phone number
Why: This lets you know if the phone number being used is a VolP number (internet phone number, like Google Voice) or one tied to an actual phone line.
Basically, if their texts show up in green, it could be a VolP number (sorry Android users, to be lumped in with suspect numbers- not sure why it works like this)
Site link: https://www.whitepages.com/reverse-phone
3. I reported the person/profile on the dating app where we met.
As soon as I realized I was being catfished, I reported them on Hinge.
Why: Even though my conversation had been moved off of the app — which is a tactic used by Catfish to steer folks away from monitored conversations — you can still report any user for lewd behavior, as it’s a privilege to use dating apps freely.
I actually @-ed Hinge on Twitter (because I know for a fact that the social media teams in tech spaces will react more swiftly than the customer service team, thanks to my years in tech).
Twitter Thread here: https://twitter.com/sensuelleyoga/status/1317984948121444355?s=10
Hinge responded RIGHT away. They directed me to file a claim with customer service in a ticket which took about one week and 2-3 messages with a rep from Hinge. They let me know that my Catfish was banned from their platform and only given the reason that they had “violated their terms” - protecting me.
I can’t say that other apps will act this way or that you will get a satisfactory response at all.
I also have to add that just because this person is banned from one app with ONE phone number, it does not stop them from creating one or several other profiles on different apps or (let’s be real) using the same app with a different phone number.
I would not put this past any learned predator, and according to this site, Catfishes usually have up to 9 fake dating profiles at once.
4. I ran a comprehensive Criminal Background Check:
Why: I wanted to be sure I knew who I was dealing with and I wanted to know if they had a history of doing this. Guess what? I was RIGHT!
I paid $8 for a background check that included my Catfish’s PUBLIC criminal history. Worth it.
Site Link: https://www.whitepages.com/
I learned my online predator had been convicted of Harassment by Phone previously. Suspicions Confirmed. And let’s keep in mind that this is only one instance where someone decided to seek charges.
5. I researched Laws about Online Harassment & Restraining Orders:
The definitions of this law vary by state but from what I found here is the gist:
“A person commits harassment by telephone when he or she uses telephone communication for… making any comment, request, suggestion or proposal which is obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy or indecent with an intent to offend”, as the law states.
I go on more about this and seeking charges in my article.
Site Links:
I highly suggest anyone considering Restraining orders watch these Restraining Order 101 videos:
https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/videos/protection-orders
The site WomensLaw.Org has a comprehensive state-by-state guide to restraining orders:
https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/il/restraining-orders
I also looked up the Misdemeanor and Felony offense charges for Harassment by Telephone: (differs per state)
“While Harassment by Telephone may initially appear to be a minor crime, Illinois law mandates a minimum jail term for a second or subsequent violation of this or other harassment-based communication offenses.
The Sentence
First Offense
Class B Misdemeanor
Up to 180 days in county jail
Fine of up to $1,500
Second or Subsequent violation
Class A Misdemeanor
Up to 364 days in county jail
Fine up to $2,500
Mandatory Minimum 14 days in county jail or 240 hours of community service
Class 4 Felony if:
The person has 3 or more prior violations in the last 10 years of harassment by telephone, harassment through electronic communications, or any similar offense of any other state; or
The person has previously violated the harassment by telephone provisions, or the harassment through electronic communications provisions, or committed any similar offense in any other state with the same victim or a member of the victim's family or household;
At the time of the offense, the offender was under conditions of bail, probation, conditional discharge, mandatory supervised release or was the subject of an order of protection, in this or any other state, prohibiting contact with the victim or any member of the victim's family or household;
In the course of the offense, the offender threatened to kill the victim or any member of the victim's family or household;
The person has been convicted in the last 10 years of a forcible felony;
The person violates paragraph (5) as listed in the law; or
The person was at least 18 years of age at the time of the commission of the offense and the victim was under 18 years of age at the time of the commission of the offense.
1 to 3 years in state prison
Fine of up to $25,000
Probation Possible? Yes.
Supervision Possible? Yes, on Misdemeanor offense.”
To those curious, I am highly considering seeking legal action against this person. I am only waiting to have some distance from the event.
Why: I never underestimate people and I will no longer assume good intentions from unconfirmed identities on Dating Apps.”
In conclusion, this is not to scare anyone off or away from dating apps, sexting, or digital sharing of intimate moments. If you want to go ahead BUT you have to know the risks of engaging with people you do not know/have not met.
And remember you are never too smart to get catfished, abused, violated, or fooled. Predators have been manipulating people much longer than you can ever believe.